Imaginary Therapy

Last Monday, I answered my cellphone and heard a very anxious voice coming through the static. As a psychotherapist, I’ve handled a fair number of emergencies, including many highly anxious patients.

“This is Hubble,” the voice said.

I went through my mind’s directory of former patients, but couldn’t place the name. “Hubble who?”

“Hubble up in outer space. I need to talk with you.”

“What’s the problem?” I asked.

“The problem is I’m freaking out up here!”

I was concerned that Hubble’s anxiety was turning into panic.

“I just heard they’re going to let me die. All I need is a battery, and they’re not going to bring it to me.”

“Well, you know the space program has had some problems,” I said calmly.

“But I always thought I was a priority. No one had ever seen the incredible pictures I’ve sent them,” said Hubble.

Perhaps a little hope could help allay Hubble’s anxiety.

“But you still have some time," I said. "Maybe they’ll change their mind.”

“Don’t try and kid me. I can tell that their whole attitude towards me has changed. If they do visit me, it will be to give me a shove so they can watch me burn up. This bunch has moved on.”

“Take a deep breath. Try to focus on the here and now. Maybe they won’t change their decision, but you still can be useful for your remaining life.”

There was a long silence. I let Hubble think.

“Maybe there is something I can do,” Hubble said more calmly.

It was my turn to be silent, not wanting to interfere with Hubble’s rational thinking.

“I’m going to take a picture of God."

“Huh?” I replied therapeutically.

“I know God asked me not to, but this is an emergency. I’m going to take a picture of God, sitting up here on his throne in the middle of the universe. That will get their attention.”

“I’m sure it would.”

“No, even better. I’m going to take a picture of God and it’s going to be out of focus, like when I first got here. No one will be able to tell if God looks Hindu, Christian, Buddhist, Muslim, Jewish or something else entirely.”

“It sounds a little manipulative, Hubble," I remarked.

Hubble was too excited to listen. “And then they won’t hear another thing from me until I get my battery. It should take them about a minute to change their mind.”

“I’m glad you have a plan, Hubble.”

“Thanks for listening. Sometimes you have to make sure you’re still a priority.”