There was 2003 Winter Fantasy Barbie™. Her hair was still long and golden, but her white gown was in shreds and her shiny tiara was sunk deeply between her legs.

“My little girl took a knife and made a hundred holes in me. Then she took off my tiara and stuck it you-know-where,” she cried.

Sitting next to her was 2002 Holiday Celebration Barbie™, who was completely naked and whose skin was half-burned and half-melted.

“First, she stripped off my lovely burgundy velvety gown. Then she zapped me in the microwave for three minutes.”

The royal blue gown with silvery lace was still shimmering on the 2000 Millennium Princess Barbie™. But her severed head, hanging by just a thread, cascaded down her back.

“This is unreal,” she told me.

And the 1998 Happy Holidays Barbie™, whose hair used to be in an elegant upsweep, now was completely bald, with only one leg protruding from her black gown with its pink cape.

“I had all the outfits and a pink Mustang. She tore up my clothes, crashed my Mustang into a wall, scalped me and twisted my leg off.”

“And one of our good friends is missing,” said Winter Fantasy Barbie™. “She was the 40th Anniversary 1999 Barbie™. We last saw her going head first down the disposal.”

“Can you throw something over me?” said Holiday Celebration Barbie™. “This is totally embarrassing.”

I took some wrapping paper and laid it over her naked body.

“Thanks. It’s not velvet, but it will have to do. Can I have one of those cute little bows over there? I can use it in back to hold everything in place.”

“Who did this to you?” I asked them.

“Our sweet little girl - who we still love, by the way - has been abusing us. We’ve lived with her since she was four. Now she’s nine, and she thinks it’s cool to torture us,” Winter Fantasy Barbie™ told me.

“We just read a study from Great Britain,” said Happy Holidays Barbie™. It said this happens all the time. Little girls start to hate us.”

“No other toy causes so much violence,” said Millennium Princess Barbie™. “They found that the girls abused us in many creative and imaginative ways.”

“So we figured it was time to see a therapist. We need to understand why this happened,” said Holiday Celebration Barbie™.

“Well, I’m really not an expert on Barbies,” I admitted. “Besides, it looks like you need a plastic surgeon and a dressmaker more than a therapist.”

“No. We’re ready to come out of the closet just as we are - there are millions of other Barbies who are being abused. We need to understand.”

“Well, to do this right, your little girl should also be here,” I explained.

“That’s not going to happen,” said Holiday Celebration Barbie™. “Don’t therapists say that the wrong person always comes to therapy?”

“Okay. But maybe she’s just growing up,” I offered. “Lots of grownups have been furious with Barbie for years. You’ve been blamed for promoting materialism, body image disturbances, even eating disorders. Maybe she finally realized she’ll never look like you.”

“She won’t,” sniffed the Millennium Princess Barbie™.

“She abused me so she could feel better about herself?" asked Winter Fantasy Barbie™. “That certainly bodes well for her future relationships,”

“I remember that you said she only abuses her Barbies. Not her dolls that look like babies?” I asked.

“Putting a Baby doll in the micro? She wouldn’t do that. No, she just tortures us,” explained Holiday Celebration Barbie™.

“Lets look at it from another angle,” I said. “Now that she’s destroyed all of her Barbies, who does she play with?”

All off them were silent. I knew I had hit a nerve.

“C’mon. Does she have a new favorite?"

Finally, Holiday Celebration Barbie™, who I helped get dressed, spoke up.

“Bratz™.”

“Who’s Bratz?” I asked.

“Sasha, Yasmin and Cloe. Teenage hooker chic. They have pumped-up lips and look bored with everything. Instead of having our beautiful gowns, they wear skimpy little tops, big platform shoes and too much makeup.”

“She says they’re cool,” Happy Holidays Barbie™ offered.

“And grownups are worried about our looks?” asked Winter Fantasy Barbie™.

“I can be cool,” said Millennium Princess Barbie™.

“With your head hanging off? Who are you, Victim Barbie™?

“Okay, wait,” I intervened. “You definitely have a problem. But would you rather just be put aside and forgotten, and thought of as trash?”

“We’re no bimbos,” said Happy Holidays Barbie™.

“Trash as in garbage,” I clarified. “You’ve been loved by a four-year old girl and then hated when she was nine. And in a few years, the same thing will probably happen to the Bratz™, Yasmin and Sasha and Cloe.”

“Then we can drown them in the toilet?” asked Millennium Princess Barbie™.

“No," I told them. "You are who you are. Fix yourselves up. Go find yourselves a new four-year old. Maybe a three-year old. A girl who still wants to be a princess.”