Imaginary Therapy

Given that it is time for another State of the Union speech, I can't help but think back to a patient I saw in 2003. On an April day, a large white placard came to my office unannounced. I found it resting against the wall of my waiting room looking rather blank. I picked it up and carried it into my office.
As I was about to rest the placard on a chair, I saw there were large letters on the other side. Reversing it, I stepped back and saw that the placard read

'The...British...government...has
learned...that...Saddam...Hussein
recently...sought...significant...quantities
of...uranium...from...Africa.'

When I finished reading it, I heard a quivering voice.
"I'm the cue card from Bush's State of the Union Speech."
"The famous Sixteen Words," I said, trying not to act surprised.
"I wish Dr. Rice hadn't called me that. It makes me sound like Eighteen And A Half Minutes. But that's not the problem."
"What is the problem?"
"I always was afraid of public speaking. I knew I was going to make a fool of myself."
"Public speaking is the most common fear of all," I said.
"Well, I tried to avoid it. But they pushed me and pushed me and insisted that I be part of the speech. I tried to tell them no, but they reassured me I had nothing to be afraid of."
"At least you tried to take care of yourself," I said.
"As soon as it was my turn, I knew I was in trouble. And sure enough, out of the whole speech, I was the one who was picked on. No one paid any attention to any of the other words, just to me.
"That sounds pretty uncomfortable."
"Uncomfortable? People said I was an outright lie, that I was a fake. And then the people who made me get up there wanted nothing to do with me."
"You're lucky you weren't Eight Words," I said encouragingly.
"Huh?"
"You know,

'I...did...not...have
sex...with...that...woman'"

"Clinton made that up on his own. At least there was no cue card to be humiliated."
"All I mean is that there are lots of embarrassing statements made by Presidents."
"But why couldn't I be Four Words, like

'The...buck...stops...here'

"I could have done something like that," said Sixteen Words.
"I don't know how I'm going to live with myself," my client continued. "Every time I think about being up there, I have another panic attack."
"I think you need to give it some time," I said. "I think what will help you is when something else takes center stage."
"Like what?"
"I don't know. Something that people will remember more than you. Something simple, maybe even Two Words, like,

'Mission...Accomplished'"