Imaginary Therapy

A therapist needs to know how to prevent burnout. Listening all day to stories of abuse, depression, and the anxieties of life can have a withering effect on your spirit. One way I keep my balance is by attending Tai Chi classes. By concentrating on deceptively simple movements such as ‘Wave Hands Like Clouds’ and ‘White Crane Spreads Its Wings’, I can return to my practice refreshed and centered.

But my Tai Chi lesson today was a little different. Our gentle and gifted teacher was ill, so we had a substitute.

“I’m John Bolton and today I want to teach you a movement that has proved invaluable for my own spiritual and physical health. It has permitted me to reach the highest levels of my personal being. At this very moment, I feel closer than ever to reaching my aspirations, even though I know there are many dangers I must strive to overcome.”

“Sensei, do you...” a student started to ask.

“Please, just call me UN Ambassador-select. And this is not the time for questions.

“First, a little philosophy. You must see yourself as the link between the world below you and the world above you. Each of these worlds is important to you, but you must know how to deal with them differently.

“Your aspiration is to make the world below you as large and solid as it can be. At the same time, you must make the world above you as ethereal and empty as it can be.

“The movement I will teach you today is called ‘Kick-Down/Kiss-Up’.

“Pretend there is an underling, I mean a support-person, lying on the floor beneath you. Now, sweep your foot forward and kick him away. Be sure you do it firmly.

“Immediately, bring your foot back to restore your balance. Now stretch your neck and point your face way up. Imagine there is a supervisor right above you. Now pucker and kiss up.

“Let’s try it in unison. Kick-Down and Kiss-Up. Kick-Down and Kiss-Up.”

As we practiced, John Bolton went around the room commenting upon the precision of our exercise.

“You’re being too subtle. Unless you kick them down hard, one day they will rise up above you. When I was young, if you gave me so subtle a kick, I would have grabbed your leg and pulled you down while I lifted myself up.”

“But what about compassion?” a student asked. “It’s a central tenet of Tai Chi.”

“There is nothing more compassionate than helping a person know his place in the world. You are doing that person a great service. You are creating balance in the Universe. And by your question, you seem to be having trouble knowing your own place-in-the-world.”

He continued around the room.

“That’s a Kiss-Up? I know the Kiss-Up can be harder to master, but you really have to pucker. You want to be honored by the One above you. That won’t happen if you question the One. Or doubt the One.

“Trust me. The closer you get to the One, the greater will be the light that shines on your face. Soon, I may kiss up only to the One.

“Okay, be sure to practice this as often as you can. Next week, if I am honored to be your teacher again, I will teach you a new technique. It’s a combination of ‘Snake Creeps Low’ and ‘Grasp the Sparrow’s Tail’.

“I call it ‘Grasp the UN by the Balls.”